Lou Zigui was still in a daze after Ning Xiaomu threw him with the facts. The lost fourth miss of Ning clan? Switched at birth? He couldn’t help but laugh again. Laughed at the late emperor, laughed at the gods, laughed at the world, and laughed… laughed at his foolishness. He was her killer! He knew that he would always bring disaster. But how dare he loved her? He is the lonely star, someone who was fated to be alone forever, some people had warned him, but he didn’t listen. He killed his girl with his own hands and carelessness. He left her, thinking she was strong enough, but he couldn’t even grasp a bit of her warmth now. He felt the bitter and sharp cold wind seeped into his bones. Making him even lonelier.
Miss Ning, his girl, his sweet girl, the love of his life… Would she forgive him? No, that’s not right, he didn’t deserve to get forgiven…
Accidentally, his eyes caught a letter on the corner of the table. He furrowed his eyebrows then picked the letter. He recognized the messy handwriting on it, it was Ning Xiaoyao’s. He carefully held the letter, this must be Miss Ning’s unsent letter, and there’s his name on top of it. But how would had he known that the letter would break him even more?
That’s what the letter said. Just one word, but that word made him suddenly felt numb. Lou Zigui felt dizzy, his brain was working harder than before, even harder than when he was on the battlefield. When he figured out what the letter meant, he was so weak, and lost at the same time. The sides of the letter even crumpled by his hands.
Ning Xiayao, Miss Ning, was pregnant. And she was pregnant with his child! He was frozen behind the table, holding onto the crumpled letter as if it were his life, he didn’t even realize that the sky out there was already dark. His regret was slowly killing him. Drowning him in the darkness even more. And he was wondering, if, if he didn’t hesitate. If he didn’t listen to his teachers and soldiers. If he was rushing to the capital or at least went to the capital as he planned before, would Miss Ning and their child stay alive?
He was woken up from his day dream after someone knocked on the door. Lou Zigui stood up then lit the candles and said, “Come in.”.
Fang Tang walked in the room and kneeled, “Supreme Commander, we’ve—we’ve gotten back His Majesty’s corpse and robe.” Lou Zigui stared at Fang Tang, but before he could say something, Fang Tang already continued with a cracked voice, “But his corpse, his corpse was trampled into mud, and not intact so it’s unrecognizable. We also couldn’t find the Imperial Jade. Pei Yan said that the Imperial Jade is in the hands of the rebel force.”.
Lou Zigui’s back was strained when he heard it. He fell into a daze. His girl’s body was trampled into mud? Then, what about his child’s body? He could feel his legs weakening, and the last thing he could hear was Fang Tang’s startled voice.
When he opened his eyes, it was already bright. He felt familiar with his surrounding, and he found out that he was still in Miss Ning’s bedroom, and was lying on Miss Ning’s bed. He closed his eyes again as pain filled his chest when his memories flowed like a river, and it felt like something just hit him so hard in the face. And once his mind was clear, he didn’t want to open his eyes anymore. He… didn’t want to live anymore.
What’s the point, anyway? His lover had gone with the child he didn’t even knew about. His man relied on him, but what about him? Who should he lean into?
He suddenly remembered the times in the Imperial Garden together. Miss Ning played with her pets and wild animals. He still remembered her sweet smiles and laughs. Ning Xiaoyao was not like the noble girls, but she was unique.
Their first meeting on the execution ground, and he called her a fatuous ruler.
When she tried to prove his innocence in the red light district…
When she sat on his lap and kissed him, “Why did you kiss me?”
“Because I like you, and I was happy!”
When he told her he was a star of disaster, she only smiled then said, “It’s alright, I’m the last person that anyone could kill in this world. A star of disaster versus the one who never dies, mm, it’s a perfect match,” But now, she’s no longer here like the previous times, she wouldn’t smile then comfort him anymore…
In the end, he could only bitterly smile. ‘I love you, Xiaoyao’ was his last thought as he decided to stay in the dark with his memories…
This fan fic is written by Lonely Girl! Awww.. Poor Supreme Commander. 🙁 You guys will see him suffer a bit soon. The chapters are soooooo long. -_-”